Apologies and Woes

I would first and foremost like to apologize to my few readers for not posting in the past month. I had planned on journaling, essentially, on my journey through being a first-time homeowner. That, however, fell through the cracks the second that I moved in and began filling the place with furniture. And with my final semester of school starting today, I wanted to make sure that I didn't lose the one outlet that I have. So, I'm back. And hopefully I will be able to keep myself to posting, at the very least, once a week.
So that was the apologies portion of this post.

Now for the woes.

So, as none of you know, the condo I moved into was built in 1986. It has had at least two previous owners before me and none of them seemed inclined to update anything. The windows are original and so is the heating and air system. So, what does that naturally mean for me? A lighter wallet. I have whistling windows that don't hold out the cold and I have a heating system that should have been dismantled about a decade ago. In the last two weeks, I have met with 3 window guys and signed a contract with one. (If anyone is interested, I'll go through the process of that and why I chose who I chose as well as the price, in another post.) Then yesterday, I had someone come in to look at the heating system. And what happens? Well, first the pilot light goes out. Shocker. He gets permission to light it from his boss but neither of us smokes and seeing as I don't have a bbq, I don't have one of those red and black lighters. So, as he's trying to figure something out, he realizes that the gas is no longer running through. And guess what that means. That's right, folks! It's January 20th and my heat has just stopped running. Oh, and I'm in New Jersey where we currently, as I am writing this, are expecting a good 10 inches of snowfall between now and tomorrow morning. So yes, I'm sitting here in jeans and sweat pants, two pairs of socks, a sweater, and under a blanket curled up as much as possible in the dead of winter. Luckily, I received a Keurig as a house warming present so I've got all the hot drinks a person could need. Especially the oh so wonderful Swiss Miss hot chocolate. G-d I love that stuff. But back to the fun part of all this. It's 10am, they have been working since 9, and will probably be here until 4 or 5. Someone shoot me now. Oh, and my condo is all open so I can't even go to the other side of the thing to get away from the noise.

Well....this is going to be a fun day...

An Old Yiddish Saying

דער מענטש טראַכט און גאָט לאַכט
Man Plans and G-d Laughs.
I have known this quote for a very long time and I most took it to heart when I was diagnosed as severely depressed. It was one of those depressions where even the good times are still not good enough. I would say this quote over and over again to myself because, no matter how hard I tried, nothing ever went how I needed it to go. It could have been anything from my social life to school. But more so school than anything else. Sure I had those times where I didn't care or I didn't really try. But then there were other times where I would work my ass off and still do horribly. I lost count of how many times I had considered dropping out of school because I didn't think I was worth it; because I thought that G-d didn't think I was worth it. It killed me when I thought that the one thing that I believed in had it out for me. I didn't think I had a purpose and contemplated suicide many times as well as had a few attempts. But I sit here today thankful that I had the courage to keep going. Suicide is a coward's way out no matter how bad things are. There are always alternatives. And life is the greatest one. You just have the get past the dark clouds that block you from happiness.

We put things into action with the intention of a good outcome. But sometimes, it's just not meant to be.

Man plans, and G-d laughs.

I think G-d was laughing at my attempts to escape life instead of my failures within it. 

"Through a writer's pen even the desperate find a voice. Courage is an act of will and happiness a choice" - John Flynn

Introducing....My ADD

I have this thing that I do. Where I start something with every intention of making it last a while, and then I just let it drop. Kinda like how my mom will start a sentence out loud then finish it in her head and the rest of us just sit there waiting for the next part - which never comes, of course. So, since I find myself with a summer of nothing to do for the first time in years, I'm going to try and keep a blog. This blog will consist of the following:
Happy Things
Sad Things
Rants
Vacation Type Things
Hedgehog Related Things
Summer Reading Updates
Summer Reading Reviews

This is going to end up being a collection of the most random things one could possibly imagine and I hope it is enjoyed by anyone who reads.

This post is just the intro so get ready for some incoming writing!
...
...
I hope!