An Old Yiddish Saying

דער מענטש טראַכט און גאָט לאַכט
Man Plans and G-d Laughs.
I have known this quote for a very long time and I most took it to heart when I was diagnosed as severely depressed. It was one of those depressions where even the good times are still not good enough. I would say this quote over and over again to myself because, no matter how hard I tried, nothing ever went how I needed it to go. It could have been anything from my social life to school. But more so school than anything else. Sure I had those times where I didn't care or I didn't really try. But then there were other times where I would work my ass off and still do horribly. I lost count of how many times I had considered dropping out of school because I didn't think I was worth it; because I thought that G-d didn't think I was worth it. It killed me when I thought that the one thing that I believed in had it out for me. I didn't think I had a purpose and contemplated suicide many times as well as had a few attempts. But I sit here today thankful that I had the courage to keep going. Suicide is a coward's way out no matter how bad things are. There are always alternatives. And life is the greatest one. You just have the get past the dark clouds that block you from happiness.

We put things into action with the intention of a good outcome. But sometimes, it's just not meant to be.

Man plans, and G-d laughs.

I think G-d was laughing at my attempts to escape life instead of my failures within it. 

"Through a writer's pen even the desperate find a voice. Courage is an act of will and happiness a choice" - John Flynn